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Humans are social beings and solo agers, like most other older adults, want to connect with others and create and maintain a social network that aligns with their personalities, temperaments, and their diverse ways of being socially engaged.
Social and Emotional Support
Social and Emotional Support
Friends and neighbors, unsurprisingly, feature prominently in conversations with solo agers about how they connect with others — either regularly, periodically, or as needed. Some do have grown children or relatives either nearby or at a distance, who are available to help or to visit, and others rely on friends or neighbors upon request. Several solo agers who had lived alone for an extended period had developed a network of friends and others who were more recently alone (e.g., recently widowed) took steps to develop such a network.
One person mentioned that a group of friends agreed to “get together at least once a month” and also stay in touch via email. The availability of a social network tended to depend on external factors such as rural location, availability of transportation, and/or the individual's health or mobility status. Some solo agers who are in the 'oldest-old' group (85+) found it more challenging to get out of the house for social events, particularly in the winter months. The same was true of solo agers living in extremely rural or remote locations.
A few mentioned that their network was with other solo agers, noting that “we are all going through the same thing.” They commit to being available to each other knowing that eventually they will all need help at some point. “We do things for others knowing that when we have an issue they will come to our aid.”
Some solo ager groups have created their own “check-in” arrangement that mirrors local telephone reassurance programs where a group of friends agree to call or text each other each morning to make sure all is well.
Several solos specifically mentioned getting to know younger people, especially younger neighbors, as a reliable source of help. One remarked, “I rely a lot on the younger generation in my neighborhood to reach out to.”
Solo agers who have created or maintained a social network have largely done so with intention, and all express deep gratitude for the relatives, friends, and neighbors they can rely on for social support or for assistance if needed.
"It didn't used to [concern me] until the past year. I was bedridden for most of May through November of last year, and when I was up on my feet again, I decided it was time for sign up for the 'friendly caller' program that we have down here."
Community Services
Community Services
Solo agers report that while many community services and programs exist to support social engagement for older adults in general, there are few — if any — programs specifically designed for people aging alone. For instance, several solo agers talked about community programs such as a "senior citizen free dinner" offered each month, or older adult "gentle yoga" workshops, or rec department activities such as pickleball, cards, or walking groups. Still others mentioned they use the Maine Senior College network for in-person or online courses. Those who no longer drive noted the importance of local volunteer transportation programs. No one knew of any formal program for solo agers, though a few mentioned their own informal efforts to convene fellow solo agers for companionship, check-ins, and hands-on help if and when needed.
"We call them food trains — for somebody who may be needing meals for a brief period of time, because something's happened and they can't cook for themselves or whatever. So I'm really finding a lot of joy in belonging and volunteering to this group, knowing that it's helping people stay at home, where they want to be."
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