In discussions about solo aging, many have asked, "What is the difference between the needs of solo agers and those of any older adult?" While there are many overlapping concerns, solo agers living alone fall along a spectrum of increased potential risk, much of which depends on the quantity and quality of their social support system, or network of people who can assist in the many ways that any of us may need or want as we age into late life. Without "natural" supports at home or very nearby, risks to well-being increase.
This conversation guide can help assess the quantity and quality of any solo ager's support system and identify any gaps that may increase physical, mental, and social health risk.
Solo agers confirmed that while some healthcare providers might ask about living alone, none had the opportunity to talk with doctors or other social service providers about solo aging concerns and how a support system could be built with intention and strategy. The following support network discussion is a place to start.
See Ciolfi, M. L., & Jimenez BA, F. (2017). Social isolation and loneliness in older people: A closer look at definitions.
Identifying the size and scope of one's social support network is often the first step in a conversation with a solo ager who may be at risk of being disconnected or disengaged from health or social supports. If there is no network at all, or it is minimal, you can discuss ways to develop a network using community events, digital platforms, or local social services.
Describe your support system (network) of family, friends, neighbors, or acquaintances.
How many are there?
Do they know each other?
What is your network range? (i.e., is it wide or narrow?)
How diverse is it?
How functional is it for you?
You can ask the solo ager to reflect on the people who are available to reliably help with the things that are of concern, whether they are daily tasks (e.g., home maintenance), or anticipated events (e.g., planned appointments). When family or friends are not an option, seek out local services vetted through word-of-mouth contacts or through organizations like Angi.
Networks that are "open" and "wide" can often be the most supportive in that they can offer a diverse range of assistance at varying times and ways. A "closed" or "narrow" network, where people are tightly connected and know each other, also offers benefits such as the ease of being in touch with each other to support the solo ager as needed. Knowing which type of network is available helps solo agers plan ahead for uncertain future events such as a health decline or weather emergencies.
Identifying the level of engagement with one's network helps strategize how engagement might be increased to align with needs and preferences and quality of life goals. If the level of engagement is suboptimal, discuss existing challenges and what factors such as transportation, technology, or community services might be available to support increased engagement.
How integrated and engaged are you in your network?
How often do you see or interact with people in your network?
How involved are you with community organizations and programs?
How close and involved are you with family and friends (and is the involvement to your liking)?
We have learned from focus group participants that many solo agers want to connect with other solo agers. It may be helpful to explore whether there are local community initiatives (e.g., an age-friendly initiative) that could support outreach exclusively for solos.
According to the social science, social supports generally fall into four categories: instrumental supports (e.g., personal care), informational support (e.g., access to health, legal, financial information), decision-making support (e.g., healthcare, end-of-life, financial decision help), and emotional support (e.g., intimacy, friendship, kinship).
Is your network supportive of you?
Do you get the emotional support you need or want?
Do you get the personal care or hands-on help you need or want?
Do you get the information you need and want when you need it?
Do you get the help you need or want with making decisions?
Exploring each of these domains helps figure out how one's network might be expanded to include a full range of roles. A critical line of inquiry here is whether the support available in any of these domains feels supportive. Support that is interpersonally fraught or problematic is often worse than no help at all.