Solo Aging Associations

Solo agers generally express negative qualities when asked about what solo aging means to them. While many of them are still able to do routine tasks on their own, particularly those who can still comfortably drive, all worry about when they need help and it is not readily available.

Isolated

Solo agers describe feeling isolated with no one to help with day-to-day tasks they can no longer easily or safely do themselves (e.g., changing a high lightbulb). While solo agers often find work-arounds, particularly those who have lived alone for a long time, many worry about the future when hands-on help will be needed for most things. Some described feeling lonely for reliable companionship, someone "to call to go get a bite to eat or go to the movies." Solo agers noted that feelings of alone-ness arise more often when at places where a lot of families gather, such as at church or other community events.

"There's just there's nobody who is going to check on me or call me or email me."

Periodic needs

Several solo agers described needing help in certain situations and being frustrated by the lack of someone close by, such as to help with heavy packages or personal care in post-acute circumstances (e.g., needing help with clothing after surgery). While most had a neighbor they could ask, they often did not feel comfortable asking either because of the intimate nature of the task (e.g., help with dressing) or because of not wanting to impose at all or regularly.

Self-sufficiency

Given the hesitation to ask others for help - a theme that was frequently raised - most solo agers have become self-sufficient and resourceful. Some describe this as empowering and self-reliant, while others express resignation.

"Well, I went to a concert last week by myself. There were all kinds of groups of people, couples, and everything like that, and I was by myself. I just felt weird."

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